


you say that things change, my dear

by cirrus (themorninglark)



Series: rareprompts [6]
Category: Free!
Genre: Gen, M/M, Post-Canon, University
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-16
Updated: 2015-07-16
Packaged: 2018-04-09 13:47:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4351136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/themorninglark/pseuds/cirrus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Like the belly of a mackerel," Nagisa declares, rocking back and forth on his heels.</p><p>Sousuke shoots him a look. He doesn't say anything. That's okay with Nagisa, it really is; if there is one thing that Nagisa has learned to be good at, it is people who don't say very much, and the quiet, comforting sound that their silence makes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	you say that things change, my dear

**Author's Note:**

  * For [narmeenypuff](https://archiveofourown.org/users/narmeenypuff/gifts).



> For narmeenypuff, who requested SouNagi. I hope you like it!
> 
> Title (and atmosphere, kinda) of the fic: Tori Amos' "Winter".

Nagisa takes off his gloves. He looks down into shaded eyes of teal, and thinks of snow, falling lightly on the paved courtyard outside.

It was like this as well, one year ago.

 

* * *

 

"Like the belly of a mackerel," Nagisa declares, rocking back and forth on his heels.

Sousuke shoots him a look. He doesn't say anything. That's okay with Nagisa, it really is; if there is one thing that Nagisa has learned to be good at, it is people who don't say very much, and the quiet, comforting sound that their silence makes.

A snowflake tickles his nose. Nagisa sneezes as he tips his face up to the sky, a flurry of white dusting his eyelids. He smiles.

"That's what Haru-chan would call it," he says. "The sky, like this. When it's all grey and silvery white, and like, _shiny_ , where the sun peeks out."

"A mackerel," Sousuke repeats.

"Don't you think so, Sou-chan?"

Sousuke shrugs.

For a moment, his jaw clenches. A tiny breath slips out from between his lips, low and hissing, and it gets lost on the wind that whips round their faces, but not before Nagisa hears it.

"Well," he says brightly, "I have to go, Sou-chan! Thanks for letting us swim here today!"

And before Sousuke can narrow his eyes and say sensible, grown-up things to him, things like _don't thank me, thank Ai_ and _I don't even go to school here any more_ , Nagisa steps away quickly, disappearing into the snow.

He catches a stray thought, fluttering through his head on gossamer wings, he keeps it safe, cradled in the heart of his palms; he thinks, maybe Sou-chan's shoulder will hurt less once he gets in out of the cold.

 

* * *

 

_"Nagisa-kun, can I ask you a question? It might be rude, but…"_

_"What? You can ask me anything, Rei-chan!"_

_"Why are you so good at History, when you find everything else so hard? History is tough for me - there's no reason, no theory, I can't work it out…"_

_"Ah, well… it's because History is stories, isn't it?"_

 

* * *

 

In the chill of early spring, Nagisa seeks out Sousuke's help.

They meet on a Friday afternoon, outside Sousuke's dorm; a forbidding concrete building that reminds Nagisa of a school he used to go to, that paves, in his mind, a winding path down the road to the past. He stops to look over his shoulder, stills his feet from running off, helter-skelter. He doesn't let himself linger too long.

He used to fear what he'd see there, if he wandered too deeply. Now -

Well, he's _here_ now, isn't he?

And Sousuke is here too. Sousuke's footsteps in the gravel next to him are solid, and they are here, the both of them, they've made it _this far_ …

He wonders if it is too cold to suggest ice cream. He would love to have ice cream right now. There is a strawberry bubblegum flavour in the shop near the train station that looks _amazing_. Maybe they will serve it with hot chocolate sauce.

Sousuke walks quickly. Nagisa has to run after him to catch up.

"It's so big," he breathes, looking up at the gates with awe.

"It's just a normal university," says Sousuke. "What do you want to see? The library? The computer labs?"

Nagisa grins. "The cafeteria?"

The barest hint of a smile crosses Sousuke's lips.

"They do a great _tonkatsu don_ ," he remarks. "You'll never go hungry if you come here."

 

* * *

 

 _Falling in love is illogical_. That's what Rei had said, once, or something like that anyway. Not to Nagisa. He'd heard it from Gou.

Of course Rei-chan would say such a thing. The thought makes Nagisa smile.

Love is illogical, like history, and that's why Nagisa always falls in love in the end (sometimes in the beginning - sometimes in the middle - but always, always by the end) - because, well, how can you _not_?

 

* * *

 

"Sou-chan?"

"I can't," says Sousuke.

He's perched on the edge of his bed, shoulders tense and tight as he looks down at his feet. There's a furrow in his brow that Nagisa longs to reach out and smooth.

"But - Haru-chan and Mako-chan, they'd really love to see you - "

Sousuke cuts him off. "No."

He takes a long, unsteady breath.

"Nagisa, I - haven't properly visited Tokyo since I left Tokitsu."

"Then _all_ the more reason for you to come along, Sou-chan! Don't you want to see your friends?"

Sousuke grinds his teeth together, lets out a frustrated grunt. "No," he says again.

 

* * *

 

It was like this as well, one year ago.

The snow was falling, falling, blanketing Samezuka in white and silence, and it's a different time and place now, and the courtyard of their university outside Sousuke's dorm is so much bigger, but in the end, they are cocooned again with memories of the past, and the stories that they have made up for themselves.

Nagisa glances out of the window.

 

* * *

 

Tomorrow, the snow will melt.

Tomorrow, the sun will shine again.

 

* * *

 

Nagisa takes off his gloves.

"Sou-chan."

It's funny, looking down into those eyes. He's always been looking up at them.

"It's okay," says Nagisa. "It's okay. If you don't want to come. But, Sou-chan, you don't have to be ashamed of what you were, you know? It's okay."

And in the wake of the hush that follows, to the sound of the wind outside, Nagisa bends down; his small hands reach out, touch Sousuke's face, gently, gently, like he is cupping a beautiful thing of glass, and like the lightest of snowdrops, he leans forward and brushes his lips on Sousuke's forehead.

 

* * *

 

Tomorrow, like the snow, his kiss will melt.

And that's okay too, because it was _real_ , and it happened, like everything else, like all the flawed, fractured little pieces of their past that have made them who they are now.

 

* * *

 

Tomorrow, they will turn the page -

and start a new story.

 


End file.
